ten little indians (the books)

Page Thirty-one…    last page of website outline

I never had any intention to be writing on the internet. 2008 changed all that. Very drastic events in my life drove me to this public form of writing, and to public hopes that I could find someone to help me and my animals. I’d heard so much about everything that could be found and accomplished on the internet. The internet had been portrayed to me as a powerful place where even the poor could find help.

But it didn’t work that way for me. I didn’t find what I was looking for. And yet I kept on doggedly writing. Writing as a way to fill up the empty hours where my life used to be. Writing to keep from screaming. Writing to dump somewhere each day all the anger, sadness, and resentment that had been created by the year 2008. The hours and days are still empty. My life as I knew it for fifty-five years is still gone, and will stay gone. The grief, anger and emptiness still need to find a vehicle for expression, and writing is still that vehicle.

So I’m shaping a lot of this writing into small books, largely in the vignette. The vignettes are either newly written or taken straight out of blogs. I like the vignette style of autobiography, both as reader and as writer.  Two of the books, Lifelines and Mugsy’s Book, are written in the usual linear narrative. This page provides the links to these books-in-progress, as well as to the poetry blogs. Page One provides links to all books and blogs.

When I was a kid, we used to sing the Ten Little Indians song. Ten little written Indians, typed onto virtual pages in virtual colors by an actual human being with some Sioux blood on her mother’s side.  A little part-Indian driven to this phantom form of writing by the destruction of a life.


1.     spite and malice    the details of  the landlady, the mafia-chick, the illegal eviction and destruction of the animals; the protection matthew told me about, and matthew himself.


       ii. ~ iii.  ~  iiii.  ~ 1.  ~  2.  ~  3.  ~  4.  ~  5.  ~  6.  ~  7.  ~  8.  ~  9.  ~  10.  ~  11.  ~  12.  ~  13.  ~  14.  ~  15.  ~  16.  ~  17.  ~  18.  ~  19.  ~  20.   ~



2.   all my stars   the animals of my life from 1953 — 2006

 ~~~~~~~~~~~   www.allmystars.wordpress.com    ~~~~~   41.  ~~  42.  ~~  43.  ~~ 45.  ~x~  47.  ~~  48.  ~~  49.


3.   stolen stars      the fourteen animals stolen in 2008

        www.stolenstars.wordpress.com   —   (2.  ~  3.   ~  3b. ~  4.  ~  5.  ~  6.  ~  7.  ~  8.  ~  9.  ~  10.  ~  11.  ~  12.)



4.   being toward death    who I was before the destruction of my life in 2008, and who I am since then

      i.  ~   ii.iii.  ~  1.  ~  2.  ~  3.  ~  4.  ~  5.  ~  6.  ~  7.  ~  8.



5.   lifelines    history from childhood on





6.    mugsy’s book   mugsy the dog with issues




7.   don’t ask    satire vignettes on a range of subjects




8.   poison and snowflake trees    about turners falls, in massachusetts




9.   neverending solitaire   my own experience with asperger’s syndrome

            www.autisism.wordpress.com   (deliberately misspelled)


10.  kaikenlainen    thoughts on the death of a brother



{*}     The ongoing micro-saga of bill   ~~~~    wandering after bill

{*}      Strictly poetry  ~~~~  scealta liatha  ~~~~  shadowpoems


 (blank books at www.gaelsong.com)

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  1. Jingle said,

    October 8, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    very cool post.

  2. braonthree said,

    October 8, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Thanks, Jingle. I’m so ancient, it’s hard to believe anything I do or say could be cool. Hell, I wasn’t even cool when I was young. But I appreciate the compliment, and that you are always your ebullient Jingle self.

  3. Aaron Agassi said,

    October 24, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Are you seeking crit?

    • braonthree said,

      October 26, 2010 at 2:23 pm

      Hello Aaron. I’m writing my book-lettes because I want and need to write them, not because I’m inviting people to come and shoot them down, no. I don’t do that to others, and I’ve read some really poor quality writing on the internet.

  4. Aaron Agassi said,

    October 26, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Then, dare may I ask, exactly what do you seek by making them public? Validation?

  5. braonthree said,

    October 26, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    Aaron: I just came here to tell you I tried to find a place on your site where I could leave you a comment, but I failed to find such a place.

    To answer your question: I see nothing wrong with seeking validation. But my chief reasons for writing on the internet were certain things when I started, in April of 2008, and they are certain other things now. A lot of those reasons are discussed throughout the blogs. And do you generally go to people’s sites asking them WHY they are writing?
    I’m pleased to have you reading and commenting, but you seem to me to be slightly aggressive about it. If I’ve misread your stance, please clarify.

  6. Aaron Agassi said,

    October 26, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    I see the problem: In my often inept webdesign, I have concentrated on linking to my forums from my solicitations to entrepreneurial and Activist or fiction writing collaboration. And upon review, I may need to find anything more prominent than just that little red thumbtack icon.

    I don’t mind characterization as aggressive as opposed to hostile. And why people write and what sort of response they seek is always crucial and often underserved.

  7. braonthree said,

    October 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Aaron… My eyesight isn’t that great, so if your comment button is fairly small, it’s very easy for me to miss….

    Maybe you’re internet experience is different than mine. I never ask anyone WHY they’re writing, and until now, I’ve never had anyone ask ME.

  8. Aaron Agassi said,

    October 28, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    I’ve made comment linkage more prominent of FoolQuest.com And surely, what question can be more important for a writer than: why? What writer is ever remembered except in light of their purpose?

  9. braonthree said,

    October 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Hi Aaron… I’ll try again to find the comment section… The question of why can be argued from both sides: the reader or listener or viewer who wants to KNOW why, or the artist who feels they shouldn’t have to answer why paint, why compose, why write this. But if you want to know my personal reasons, write me an email. Think the address is on page one of this blog.

  10. braonthree said,

    October 28, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Oh Aaron, I clicked on your link and ended up on a completely different page than I did on Tuesday. Then found the red pushpin and got more lost. Sorry. My technical know-how falls FAR short of yours, and when I’m offered too many options, I just shut down. But I saw lines about “denial” and “due diligence” with which I agree. I think that we should practice conscious due diligence in trying to rid ourselves of as much denial as possible, and that diligence is examination of our own psychology and consciousness. Jung would have called it integration of the conscious and unconcscios minds.

  11. Aaron Agassi said,

    October 29, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Compelling art is like unto psychotherapy, motivated by a need for expression and disclosure. Hence purpose is expressed, even if in new ways. But my most practical concern is to understand what sort of feedback you seek. And the pushpins should simply open my Yuku forums. Which page do you seek?

  12. braonthree said,

    October 29, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    Aaron: I just wanted to read a couple of your posts and leave comments on them. ~~~ I really can’t grasp your desire to know “what sort of feedback” I’m looking for, but here’s a partial answer: One: I hope other animal people might come and understand how devastating the stealing and killing of my animals was, and maybe share some little stories about their own animals. Two: I hope a few people at least will read how the big social service agencies “helped” me and perhaps be as appalled as I am at the way they treated a person who went to them for help. I hope for some human empathy, some understanding, a little outrage.

    And as far as my poetry, drawing and “art” photos go, I put them here as part of who I was before my life was destroyed. They’re here only as a testament to that. If anyone LIKES a poem or whatever, then I’m pleased that something I made pleased someone else, but I’m not here to have my creative work criticized, and I don’t criticize the work of others. If I have a compliment to give, I give it, and otherwise I keep quiet.

  13. Aaron Agassi said,

    November 1, 2010 at 3:42 am

    Is that all? I’m only surprised such loss wouldn’t be obvious. But alas that I cannot relate to you as an artist. Artists strive to improve their art by the exchange of critique. And I still have no idea what you want instead.

  14. anne nakis said,

    November 1, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Hello, Aaron. I think we’ve gone around in this particular circle long enough. Got any other socks you want to shred? I’m deliberately mixing my metaphors.

  15. Thanan said,

    November 11, 2010 at 6:22 am

    Oh very cool.

  16. braonthree said,

    November 12, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Well thanks, Thanan.

  17. Ruthbug said,

    March 27, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Hello, just a heads up I’ve mentioned your blog in my latest post titled ‘Some of the blogs I read’. Nothing profound just a reading list of blogs I like. Keep blogging, Ruth x

    P.S sorry I’m not on here much you probably don’t remember me/my blog, but I remember yours anyway.

  18. braonthree said,

    March 28, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Ruth… of course I remeber you, very well. Long time no see, and I’m glad you came by again. How’s doctor school. Anne

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